A part of life. And death, too.

My neighbor and friend. The care-giver. Is feeling guilty again. Because her mom might have died yesterday. Unnecessarily. Of pneumonia.  That went undetected for a while. My neighbor feels guilty about it. Blaming herself. For not knowing better. By merely putting her mom to bed when she had a 101-degree fever. The next day she took mom to the emergency room at the local hospital. Where she was diagnosed. And judged to be in mortal peril. Fortunately, she’s responded to treatment. And is on the road to recovery, it seems. But if she had died, her daughter would have felt responsible. And blamed herself. Unfortunately, she’s an overwhelmed and exhausted and overworked care-giver. For a patient with dementia. A patient unable to fully explain how she’s feeling. Care-giving ain’t easy. Especially under these circumstances. Care-giving of elderly parents with Alzheimer’s should be a team-effort. Invoking all sorts of people. Professionals. Amateurs. Family members. Friends.  Doesn’t always turn out that way. Often, the onus falls on a single 24/7 care-giver. That’s an enormous and virtually impossible heart-rending task. It shouldn’t happen. But it does. And if something goes wrong, as it usually does, that’s a part of life. And death, too. –Jim Broede