Mother's choice.

Had my mother lived another 12 years, she would be turning 100 in two weeks. But making it to 88 –well, that’s quite an accomplishment. Thing is, mother didn’t want to live to 100. She really wanted to die. She was tired of living. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Mom merely willed herself to die. I suspect that’s a form of suicide. Just deciding to die. By willing a bogus natural death.  So it’s really not construed as suicide.  When really, it is.  My guess is that if mother really wanted to make it to 100, she would have found a way. By setting her mind to it. But for mother, that would have been cruel and unusual punishment. Instead, she was ready to die. Maybe because she imagined that would bring her true peace and tranquility.  Maybe that’s what we all wish for. Ultimately. But I’d just as soon have the peace and tranquility now. While still very much alive.  So that I can fully savor such a blessing. If I’m dead, there’s a possibility of no consciousness. Nothingness. No chance to savor anything. –Jim Broede